Ok. I hate this! Wrote a nice long response but toward the end went to check the spelling of a word and blew it all away! 😭
So, was saying I want to read this. Really like time travel books too. Finney's Time and Again is a particular favorite of mine. And others you mentioned I need to check out. Except maybe the NYC girl sent to the stone age. That one might irritate me since she'd be awfully lonely in the area in the stone age because no people lived there. 🙃
Also, yes, I know that feeling well. Being torn between wanting the prolonged suffering of a loved one to end, to just be over. And also knowing when it is you will have lost them forever. I still feel twinges of that guilt 20+ years after my grandmother's last illness. And the uncertainty if the guilt is because I felt it best if she died or if I wanted her to live because I didn't want to lose her.
And yes. Then there is the other guilt. Maybe if I had intervened she might have lived longer and been healthier. Even though she suffered from emphysema from a lifetime of smoking, in the end she starved to death. Because of various conditions (not life threatening) she had, over the years doctors had cut more and more foods from her diet. Til in the end she just quit eating. Starvation is a hard end. And I think, I thought then, maybe if I could find a better doctor, a geriatric doctor, before it reached this point, she could have lived much longer. But I didn't. I told her years earlier it was time to start ignoring the doctors but she didn't. Maybe a different opinion in time might have helped. I don't know.
Reminds me of the Quantum Leap episode where Beckett went back into his own timeline and decided his mission was to save his father from an early death by trying to make him quit smoking and eat better and to save his sister from the disastrous marriage she would make in a couple of years. And in the end he realized he wasn't changing them and was just making them miserable during what was a happy time in their lives. I always felt there was a lot of truth in that.
I know it doesn't do any good to second guess ourselves, and all we can do is accept we made the best decisions we could with the limited information we had. It's easier said than done, though. In the end, it's all just trying to stave off what is inevitable. And like the Quantum Leap episode you mentioned--we also have to accept that quality of life--happiness, contentment, joy, whatever you want to call it--is not the same thing as maximizing healthy or sensible decisions.
I have a lot I want to say about this but I can’t say it right now. My father was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago and now they think it’s in his brain and this post is like a vision into my future. My probably very real, near future and it’s all too much. I want to read this book, but maybe in a year or two. And I’m going to bookmark this post bc I think I’ll want to revisit it too at some point.
Oh, Leandra. I'm so sorry about your dad. I knew he'd been diagnosed with lung cancer, but I hadn't heard about the possible spread to his brain. I agree it's probably not the right time to read this--in fact, even a couple of months earlier, I don't think it would have been for me. Now, though, I found it very moving and comforting.
Ok. I hate this! Wrote a nice long response but toward the end went to check the spelling of a word and blew it all away! 😭
So, was saying I want to read this. Really like time travel books too. Finney's Time and Again is a particular favorite of mine. And others you mentioned I need to check out. Except maybe the NYC girl sent to the stone age. That one might irritate me since she'd be awfully lonely in the area in the stone age because no people lived there. 🙃
Also, yes, I know that feeling well. Being torn between wanting the prolonged suffering of a loved one to end, to just be over. And also knowing when it is you will have lost them forever. I still feel twinges of that guilt 20+ years after my grandmother's last illness. And the uncertainty if the guilt is because I felt it best if she died or if I wanted her to live because I didn't want to lose her.
And yes. Then there is the other guilt. Maybe if I had intervened she might have lived longer and been healthier. Even though she suffered from emphysema from a lifetime of smoking, in the end she starved to death. Because of various conditions (not life threatening) she had, over the years doctors had cut more and more foods from her diet. Til in the end she just quit eating. Starvation is a hard end. And I think, I thought then, maybe if I could find a better doctor, a geriatric doctor, before it reached this point, she could have lived much longer. But I didn't. I told her years earlier it was time to start ignoring the doctors but she didn't. Maybe a different opinion in time might have helped. I don't know.
Reminds me of the Quantum Leap episode where Beckett went back into his own timeline and decided his mission was to save his father from an early death by trying to make him quit smoking and eat better and to save his sister from the disastrous marriage she would make in a couple of years. And in the end he realized he wasn't changing them and was just making them miserable during what was a happy time in their lives. I always felt there was a lot of truth in that.
I know it doesn't do any good to second guess ourselves, and all we can do is accept we made the best decisions we could with the limited information we had. It's easier said than done, though. In the end, it's all just trying to stave off what is inevitable. And like the Quantum Leap episode you mentioned--we also have to accept that quality of life--happiness, contentment, joy, whatever you want to call it--is not the same thing as maximizing healthy or sensible decisions.
I have a lot I want to say about this but I can’t say it right now. My father was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago and now they think it’s in his brain and this post is like a vision into my future. My probably very real, near future and it’s all too much. I want to read this book, but maybe in a year or two. And I’m going to bookmark this post bc I think I’ll want to revisit it too at some point.
Oh, Leandra. I'm so sorry about your dad. I knew he'd been diagnosed with lung cancer, but I hadn't heard about the possible spread to his brain. I agree it's probably not the right time to read this--in fact, even a couple of months earlier, I don't think it would have been for me. Now, though, I found it very moving and comforting.
The book sounds great! And thanks for the mention. ❤️